Grand time for bonding

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Music, exercise and science experiments are some of the cool ways in which grandparents connect with their grandkids.

Grandparents today are more than just trusted and convenient childcare providers, who pick their grandchildren up from school and care for them when their mums and dads are at work.

"They also lead active work and social lives, from participating in activities at the community centres to taking up part-time employment," says Mr Ishak Ismail, chairman of the Families For Life Council, which is under the Ministry of Social and Family Development.

Some grandparents may feel their time of parenting is over and may not want to care for the grandchildren daily, says Ms Cheryl Ng, trainer and family life specialist with charity Focus on the Family Singapore.

"If the grandparents feel like they don't have the energy to handle child-minding, that's okay," she says, adding that parents should not feel slighted.

Opportunities can still be created for young and old to bond.

Mr Ishak suggests grandparents host weekly weekend sleepovers at their home so the little ones can spend more time with them. Take the chance to share interesting stories about the kids' parents. This allows the kids to know their mums and dads through their grandparents' eyes, he adds.

Or they can simply stay in touch by arranging home visits or calling them often.

"United States President Joe Biden once shared that he calls or texts his grandchildren every day to check in on their day," says Mr Ishak, adding that the Families For Life website (www.familiesforlife.sg) offers activity ideas.

For grandparents, a strong relationship with their grandchildren can help them widen their views and be more receptive towards new trends and technology.

"Often, grandchildren are the ones teaching their grandparents about using social media," says Mr Ishak. "The same can be said for grandchildren as their grandparents can offer them a wealth of wisdom and help them navigate life's important milestones."

For any relationship to flourish, time together is a necessary ingredient. "When the little boys and girls grow up, hopefully, they would have developed an adequately strong bond to want to arrange their own visits to the grandparents," says Ms Ng.

Here are three grandparents who found interesting ways to bond with their grandchildren.

 

In a band with grandpa 

Looking at his grandchildren play music and dance around him, Mr Mohd Nazir Dolah's heart is full.

"I feel proud of their hereditary talent," says the 70-year-old leader and keyboardist of the band Orkes Melayu Mutiara, which were formed in 1967 by his family.

He is hopeful the younger generation will continue his legacy.

The band's members now comprise all his four children, two sons-in-law and three of his six grandchildren.

Before the Covid-19 pandemic, the band are known for making their rounds at weddings.

They were also invited to perform at the Silver Arts festival by the National Arts Council at the National Library Building in 2019. Their last public show was at the Esplanade's outdoor theatre in February last year.

Mr Nazir, who goes by his stage name Pak Nasir Abdullah, is sad that the pandemic has caused their shows to be cancelled or postponed. But he is optimistic that the band will make a comeback soon.

"Of course we would want to perform at the Esplanade (again) and at any other great events in Singapore," he says.

His three grandchildren, who are part of the band, are Muhd Syahrin Muhd Faddly, 14, and his sister Syaura Nurqiesha, eight; as well as cousin Mohd Firdaus Abdul Rahman, 12. They play the maracas, tambourine and beads shaker.

They would gather to practise and bond over music with Mr Nazir at his Jurong West home every two weeks.

His wife, who used to be one of the band's vocalists, died last year at the age of 67.

The couple's three older grandchildren learnt to play simple percussion instruments and singing from them when they were younger.

But Mr Nazir has never pressured them to be part of the band.

Polytechnic student Muhd Syafiq Muhd Faddly, 20, is the second of Mr Nazir's six grandchildren. He found his passion in hip-hop dancing and choreography, and is thankful for his supportive grandparents.

"They constantly showed up for my group's competitions and performances when we participated in them," he says. "They would also ask us how our dance training was going and what we had learnt."

Growing up with his grandparents are memories Mr Syafiq holds dear. "Singing at weddings, videotaping their performances and playing random instruments for fun are experiences I will always remember and cherish."

 

Grandma bakes, does science experiments with granddaughters

Ms Jean Keow loves baking with her eight-year-old granddaughter Kate Lau.

Whenever they meet - usually twice a week - they would try out the recipes Kate learnt from her culinary classes.

Their bakes, such as cheesecakes, chiffon cakes and cupcakes, became tea-time delights.

"Soon, I was advised that we should not be eating too much sweet snacks," says Ms Keow, 64, managing director of a business consultancy firm.

Instead, Ms Keow, a professional member of the Singapore National Institute of Chemistry, turned to conducting science experiments with Kate as well as her five-year-old sister Christy.

One of their favourite experiments is to soak eggs in vinegar for at least 24 hours. Not only will the shells dissolve, leaving the membranes behind, but the eggs will also become bigger and can even gently bounce on the table.

Before they knew it, they were compiling content for science activity books, which she describes as "a super fun project to do with my grandkids".

Her husband, 63, a chemical engineer, and the girls' mum also chipped in to help. Ms Keow's younger daughter, who lives in Australia, joined in the discussions via WhatsApp video calls.

"Even our friends in the medical and scientific fields contributed ideas," she says.

Last year, she invested about $8,000 to self-publish Katy's Science Adventures - a print run of 500 copies for Book 1 and 100 copies for Book 2. They are available on Amazon.com as well as local children's boutique Sea Apple and Le Petit Society.

Selling on Amazon.com helps her get acquainted with technology and gives her the chance to reach overseas readers. She wants to walk the talk as her company focuses on helping small and medium enterprises to internationalise.

Kate and Christy particularly love the Walking On Eggs experiment from the book, which teaches them about pressure and weight.

Ms Keow believes the value of home activities with children is more than stimulating and developing skills. "They help to build relationship bonds that last forever," she says.

"As a working mother and grandmother, I do understand the time factor and why many parents choose to outsource such activities. But lost time spent with the children and grandchildren can never be recovered."

She adds: "A grandparent's duties are fun because they are not full-time work - it is play and chill time."

 

Catching up with grandpa in fitness level 

It is usually a sweaty affair whenever Dylan Seow, 12, visits his grandfather Michael Koh.

The 76-year-old retiree would be exercising at home or at the nearby Bishan Park's fitness corner.

No, not the usual taiji or brisk walking, but intensive workouts such as sets of "60 push-ups, 60 sit-ups, 60 squats", says Mr Koh, a former customs officer with the Customs Narcotics Dog Unit.

Dylan would join in, though he cannot beat his grandfather yet. "He is catching up," says Mr Koh.

The fitness enthusiast works out twice daily for about an hour each, six days a week.

Thursday is his fasting day. "I don't eat, I don't exercise," says Mr Koh. He and his 68-year-old wife have been vegetarians for more than 30 years.

He shares proudly that Dylan can now execute a bar pullover, which involves pulling himself up a bar and flipping his body over it. The boy had always been fascinated when Mr Koh performed this move, but used to struggle to do so himself.

"I told him not to worry. As he grows older, he will become stronger and will be able to do that.

"When he finally mastered it, he was so happy," says Mr Koh.

He adds self-deprecatingly: "But now I can't do it anymore. After the circuit breaker, I seemed to have lost a bit of my core strength.

"I still do about seven pull-ups each time now, but not a pullover."

He has two other grandkids - a granddaughter, 15, and a 15-year-old grandson, who is Dylan's older brother.

But only Dylan has shown an interest and affinity for sports. The Secondary 1 student is in the national team for sport climbing.

"When he was three, I showed him I could stand on my head," Mr Koh recalls fondly. "He was so enthralled, he clapped his hands."

Because of school and training, Dylan's visits to his grandparents' place have gone from weekly to about once a month.

Nonetheless, he looks forward to keeping fit with his grandfather and getting to know him better at the same time.

"He is very inspirational, fit and patient," he says. "Whenever he teaches me an exercise that I don't understand, he would do so step by step and help me progress."

 

Source: The Straits Times © Singapore Press Holdings Limited. Reproduced with permission.

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