Sharing festive warmth with the lonely this year-end season
Published on
18 Dec 2024
Published by
The Straits Times
SINGAPORE – Although a self-professed introvert who delights in her alone time, retired childcare centre teaching assistant Ng Tang Puay is no stranger to the sharp sting of loneliness.
The single 71-year-old was diagnosed with cancer during the Covid-19 pandemic. Given the restrictions then, and the fact that her siblings were also old and frail, she had to brave hospital visits and cancer treatments on her own.
“I suffered from many side effects from the medication and was always exhausted,” said Ms Ng, who lives alone in a government rental flat. “I would cry in bed and pray to God to help me.”
Help came in the form of friendly faces at the Lions Befrienders active ageing centre (AAC) in Bendemeer Road, who came knocking with groceries and invited her to activities at the centre.
Ms Ng is now a regular volunteer who delivers meals to other needy seniors in the neighbourhood, and hopes to bring cheer to the isolated.
While she said she enjoys spending the year end simply and quietly, she is concerned that others may feel lonely during the year-end festivities, especially those who feel sad that their children do not visit them often.
Preparing for a Dec 18 Christmas party that was organised by the AAC and for which she helped with the set-up, she said: “I’m excited because my friends and other seniors will be able to enjoy the celebrations together.”
Lions Befrienders executive director Karen Wee said the year end brings about a time of reflection and reminiscence for the elderly, and can exacerbate feelings of loneliness as it also leads up to culturally significant celebrations like Chinese New Year.
Some are reminded of the people they have lost, and the regrets that they have in their life.
It is common for some of the voluntary welfare organisation’s 13,000 seniors to feel down during this period, she added.
While do-gooders step up outreach and charity efforts during the year-end period, that can sometimes be a double-edged sword, as the seniors go through an emotional roller-coaster in between visits by different groups of volunteers.
“It is a strange thing that many people only remember the poor and the forgotten around the months of December and January,” said Ms Wee.
She added: “The times when people come and visit, they feel very loved. But when people leave, they feel down.
“On the actual day of the main celebrations like Christmas or Chinese New Year, where volunteers have to tend to their own families, that’s when they feel the loneliness the most.”
To mitigate this, Lions Befrienders also taps its network of 400 senior volunteers to reach out to elderly people who are living alone or at risk of isolation during festive occasions.
“We get volunteers who are staying alone to check in with others in the same situation. They can also take care of each other,” said Ms Wee.
Those most at risk of isolation are paired with a befriender, who will call them on Christmas Day and the first day of Chinese New Year to find out how they are doing.
This season, volunteers are also reaching out to migrant workers.
Ms Sharon Tan, executive committee member of non-profit organisation Transient Workers Count Too (TWC2), said that throughout the year, migrant workers already feel pressures such as a lack of disposable income, shortage of free time and limited ability to travel around Singapore except between their dormitories and workplaces.
Furthermore, unlike most Singaporeans, who are winding down during the year end, most migrant workers are pulling their regular shifts at construction or marine shipyard sites.
“The workers are on social media a lot, so they’ll be seeing the Christmas or New Year’s celebrations on TikTok or Instagram. They’re very keenly aware of what’s happening in the rest of Singapore,” said Ms Tan.
“There is some feeling of missing out on some festivities, but it’s not as bad as if they are missing out on their own important religious or cultural celebrations like Bengali New Year.”
Workers who are more vulnerable to loneliness are those with lengthy salary or injury claims and who are unable to work, as they have little to take their minds off their cases.
To offer such workers respite, TWC2 organises monthly activities and field trips to recreational sites. This December, workers boarded ferries to Sisters’ Island and St John’s Island, where they swam and tucked into briyani by the beach.
“I’ve never been to the islands, and my favourite part was taking pictures with my friends at the beach,” said Rajah, 36, who declined to give his real name.
For him, the trip was a bright spot amid dreary days. The construction worker has not been able to work since August 2024, when a metal-cutting machine wounded his middle finger.
“I miss my family, but I cannot call very often because my phone credit is running out,” said Rajah, who added that he is also worried about his future employment opportunities as his grip strength is now affected.
To better support migrant workers, TWC2 is also running its annual fund-raiser until the end of December. Donations can be made at https://give.asia/campaign/be-a-migrant-worker-s-hero-9641
Source: The Straits Times © SPH Media Limited. Reproduced with permission.
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