Say it loud: I’m old and I’m proud
Published on
12 Jan 2025
Published by
The Straits Times
Perks for senior citizens abound. But first, you have to admit that you’re old.
SINGAPORE — When I made restaurant reservations a few weeks ago, the booking form stated that all parties of two would be seated at the bar.
This diktat irked me. It was meant to be my birthday brunch, and the prospect of having to crane my neck to speak to my husband, while perching precariously on a barstool, was not my idea of a fun day out.
I considered cancelling and going elsewhere, voting with my dollar as an empowered consumer. But this felt like defeat. Not to mention that the place would hardly miss my custom, as it’s popular with sprightly twenty-somethings happy to take those terms sitting down.
Instead, I decided to try wielding a different sort of power.
In the comments section I wrote: We’re aged 55 and 66, so would appreciate table seats. Hope you can help.
My reasoning? With the restaurant put on notice that we might be old and frail, they’d think twice about upping our chances of fracturing a hip.
On the day, we were ushered to the only table for two in the room. One point for auntie and uncle. While the food was great, the music was too loud and the lighting too dim for our tastes. But we won’t let those elder grouses cloud our little victory.
I’ll admit, you could repeat the same experiment with anyone of any age, and the result might be the same. After all, accommodating a customer’s request is a mark of good service in the hospitality industry. Plus there’s that mantra: Don’t ask, don’t get.
But it still feels like a win in my book, for several reasons.
First off, it made me get over the embarrassment of being labelled old or senior by the world at large.
It wasn’t that long ago that I was aghast and stupefied when a FairPrice cashier asked if I qualified for a senior discount. Yes, it was past 1am and I had just come off a late shift, likely exuding a weariness beyond my 50-odd years. And to be fair, I was wearing a mask as it was still pandemic days. But I still mustered the energy to huff indignantly and say no to cheaper groceries.
“It must be the mask, it has to be the mask,” I muttered to myself later, my pride no doubt wounded because you have to be 60 and above to be eligible for the supermarket chain’s 2 per cent discount every Tuesday.
But it’s dawning on me that I can no longer claim to look younger than my age, what with the grey hairs, frown lines and constant urge to shake my fist at young people.
Enjoy the perks
My husband is way ahead of me in this struggle. Just last week he was shopping around for the cheapest haircut in our neighbourhood when a young man in the salon saw him scanning the price list and rushed out to tell him: “Eh uncle, senior citizen got discount.” It took my husband just two seconds to suppress his instinct to retort: “How you know, maybe I’m 59 leh?”, and take up the offer.
Those older and wiser than me counsel acceptance – age gracefully and enjoy all the perks that come with it.
“Why resist? Look at my beautiful Passion Silver card,” said a colleague, proudly displaying the piece of plastic that grants him cheaper rides on public transport, discounts at over 1,500 merchants and, amazingly, longer crossing times at some pedestrian crossings. Just tap and wait for the green man.
I’m still five years away from being a senior citizen as defined under Singapore law. But checking out these goodies in advance has given me another win – something to look forward to in my golden years.
Think of these as compensation for having to suffer the inconveniences of growing old. My husband, for example, absolutely deserves to comfort eat at a half-price buffet, now that it’s not just his former students who approach him at events but also their adult offspring who quip: “My mother asked me to say hi.”
I also discovered there are other means of wielding silver power. A friend of mine told her husband that she can no longer fly economy class for long-haul trips. “After 60, my body can’t take it anymore. It has to be business class,” she declared.
Those of us who are less privileged seniors can still enjoy priority queues at airports and government agencies, $5 movie tickets on weekdays (before 6pm) and concession rate exercise classes. Meanwhile, the lads at our local mee pok stall insist on bringing our noodles to us, even though we’re more than capable of handling the laden trays.
And don’t patronise auntie
And there lies the grey area. Navigating the elders’ scene can be tricky because, while we’re grateful for the benefits and help, we’d still like to maintain our agency and dignity. We may be getting on, but we shouldn’t be underestimated or patronised.
One colleague complained that her senior discount card had an illustration of stooped white-haired people, one of them walking with a cane. Maybe it’s time to update these hackneyed caricatures, especially since the Singapore Government is promoting active ageing? And, unless you’re George Clooney, hair-colouring is the norm these days – check out the sea of jet-black hair the next time the Chinese Communist Party leaders convene in Beijing.
We’re also now better-equipped to stave off the declining faculties that come with ageing, thanks to health studies that advocate weight-resistance workouts, high-protein diets, mental challenges and an active social life.
So, to the concerned, compassionate teenagers who rushed to my husband’s side one Saturday morning at West Coast Park: Thank you so much, but we’re fine. He was panting and red-faced because he’d just finished his regular 10km run. Not because he has white hair and is above 60.
If I had one ask to be treated differently, it would be for young people to speak more slowly and be more patient when dealing with their elders. Why the rush, when we’re the ones with fewer years left than you?
Note too that oldies will soon form a sizeable group, capable of weaponising our silver influence. Around one in four Singaporeans will be aged 65 or above by 2030, up from one in 10 in 2010. Globally, the number of people aged 60 or older will reach 2.1 billion by 2050.
So, there will soon come a day when I will claim my spot at our apartment’s designated elderly fitness corner (there’s a sign proclaiming this) and shoo off the toddlers like the grumpy man in that American “Get off my lawn, kids” cliche. Or when I’m still mobile enough to take the MRT, yet old enough to shame a youngster into giving up his seat for me.
I can’t wait.
- Lim Ai Leen is associate foreign editor at The Straits Times, overseeing coverage of South-east Asia.
Source: The Straits Times © SPH Media Limited. Reproduced with permission.
Photo: The Straits Times
Written By: Lim Ai Leen
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