What seniors want: I want caregivers who care
Published on
13 Apr 2024
Published by
The Straits Times
As the Singapore population ages, the demand for suitable care solutions for seniors has become more pressing. There are relatively healthy, mobile seniors who want to hold on to their independence but will require some form of caregiving in the future. Here’s one senior citizen describing in her own words how she was weighing her options for her golden years.
Mrs Eileen Bygrave, 80
I used to work in advertising and was Italian luxury giant Salvatore Ferragamo’s first Asian retail director for all its European stores. I was based in Florence.
I live with my domestic helper of 10 years in a three-bedroom apartment in Jervois Road, bought with my husband – an English film-maker – who suddenly died in 2011. It is full of memorabilia and furniture collected from living abroad over the years.
I have three children in their 50s: a son living in Australia, a daughter in Britain and another son living in the United States.
It was only after my husband’s death that I started giving serious thought about ageing. Being alone hit me hard.
When my mother was in her 90s and needed much attentive care, my siblings and I had a huge discussion about what we were going to do with her. I suggested to my siblings that we put her in a nursing home.
They strongly objected and looked at me as if saying: “How dare you? What will the relatives think?” There was such a stigma against nursing homes.
I am still healthy and have a very active social life. I took up yoga and consistently walk at least three times a week with three groups of friends, all of whom keep me in great spirits.
My weekly Italian class gives me much joy and hopefully maintains my mental faculties.
But who is to say what will happen in five years, a year, a month or even the next day?
I think it is important to plan ahead. While my domestic helper is able to remind me to take my daily medication and prepare meals for me, what if one day I need more help than what she is capable of?
I am privileged enough not to have many financial worries and have options.
I could move to Britain and be with my daughter. But I cannot stand the cold weather. My son wanted me to move to California and live in a retirement village so that he could be near to me.
But having grown up in Singapore, I feel very drawn to continue staying here. My siblings and closest friends are here, doctors who are familiar with my medical history are here.
I am weighing my options, where do I want to age and who is going to care for me when I am no longer able to do so for myself?
At a dinner party organised by my friend, I was seated next to Dr Belinda Wee, the founder of the Assisted Living Facilities Association of Singapore.
When I meet new people, I ask them what they do for a living. Dr Wee shared more about what assisted living facilities are, and that is when I started exploring the possibility of finding one that is suitable for me.
Singapore is now beginning to offer a wide range of homes. It is not the “hardware” I am concerned about, but the “software”. Do the people running these homes, the staff, the carers and the handlers actually care?
Source: The Straits Times © SPH Media Limited. Reproduced with permission.
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