Learning > Inspiration

#CoupleGoals: An Unconditional Love Stronger Than Time And Dementia

Image

Agency for Integrated Care

Share

Facebook Email


In a love that spans more than half a century, Mr Tan Kee Guan and Mdm Sng Been Eng have spent more than three-quarters of their lives together. Mr Tan, 93, attributes all of the happiness and love he has experienced to his wife, Mdm Sng, whom he adores.

 

“We’ve been married for many years, and I always say that she helped me live such a long life. Being in a good mood plays a part too.”

 

Even after they received news of Mdm Sng’s dementia condition five years ago, their strong love kept the couple together and Mr Tan took up the role as her primary caregiver.

 

A Promise Of Love And Forever

 

Mr Tan’s decision to step up may have come naturally, but it was a promise to Mdm Sng’s father that kept him going.

 

“When I married her, I told my father-in-law that I’ll take care of her for the rest of her life. I’m keeping my promise.”

 

To keep Mdm Sng’s condition stable, Mr Tan ensures that her medication is taken promptly and accompanies her to monthly check-ups. Apart from this, he will try his best to fulfil the needs of Mdm Sng and take her out to wherever she wants to go. Still, Mdm Sng’s dementia caused her to have mood swings, presenting difficulties for Mr Tan in his caregiving journey.

 

Keeping His Promise

 

Since then, Mr Tan has learned to better manage Mdm Sng’s dementia condition. It all started with a mindset shift.

 

“Sometimes I get angry, but I’ll pause and realise that she’s acting like this due to her illness. I can’t blame her.”

 

People with dementia often do things that are out of character, which can be frustrating for their caregivers and loved ones. This is because the condition affects parts of the brain that make them not only more forgetful, but also affects their ability to manage their emotions. Knowing this helped Mr Tan to understand that his wife’s behaviour is not within her control. Holding fast to his vow to care for her, he continues to love and care for her, even through the tougher times. When it gets unbearably difficult for him, he clears his mind by taking a walk outside before going back home to make peace with Mdm Sng.

 

Just like that, they managed to keep their love and their lives somewhat the same, while giving us a lesson in love worth learning. #CoupleGoals indeed.

 

Source: AIC With You, by the Agency for Integrated Care. Reproduced with permission.

 

 

The views, material and information presented by any third party are strictly the views of such third party. Without prejudice to any third party content or materials whatsoever are provided for information purposes and convenience only. Council For The Third Age shall not be responsible or liable for any loss or damage whatsoever arising directly or indirectly howsoever in connection with or as a result of any person accessing or acting on any information contained in such content or materials. The presentation of such information by third parties on this Council For The Third Age website does not imply and shall not be construed as any representation, warranty, endorsement or verification by Council For The Third Age in respect of such content or materials.